Dear Men,
I am sorry.
For the first time ever, speaking for women over a certain age everywhere, I sincerely, deeply, without a sarcastic bone in my body, apologize to all men who have women in their lives who are experiencing their 40's. Whether they are a wife, girlfriend, sister, mistress, secretary, boss, nanny or just passing you on the street....I feel for you.
I cannot imagine being in your shoes for frankly, we can't believe we are in ours. You have never understood us under normal circumstances. From the first moment in the sandbox as we seductively smiled at you, beckoned you to come play, as you innocently, happily plopped down next to us and immediately received a handful of sand in your face while we screamed, "NNNNNOOOO GET AWAAAAYYYY!!", you have been doing a delicate dance around us. Not knowing the steps but doing your damnedest to keep the beat.
It wasn't enough that you had to deal with the whole menstrual cycle shit (thank Momma Nature for that), it wasn't enough that you had to deal with the whole pregnant hormonal nine month gestation trauma (again Momma N) but now this. Dealing with the peri-menopausal regular menopausal instantly raging drop of a dime hysterically laughing looovvve you looove you not, charming happy woman you know and love one minute the flip side bitch you cower from the next, let's have crazy hot sex, wait why are you touching me, why are you even in the bed, I hate the sight of you, I love you please don't leave me.
Sorry just doesn't seem enough.
All I can tell you is that this is the test of your lifetime. No easy cure. No easy remedy. And it lasts for approximately the next decade (yep, Momma you know who). You could opt to leave, to give up, but understand that in the state we are in we will hunt you down and kill you. Seriously. You are our rocks, the oasis in the sea of insanity, the peanut butter in our chocolate. Believe it or not, YOU are the only thing that makes sense to us right now. Go figure.
So, take a deep breath and be a man, that man, the real man you believe - we believe- you to be. Even though we are two different sides of the same coin, so far, you have survived us brilliantly for which I give you major kudos. And while we might appear not to notice, we love you for it. Even when our heads are swiveling in their sockets.
xo,
Fabulously Fourty(ish)
I am sorry.
For the first time ever, speaking for women over a certain age everywhere, I sincerely, deeply, without a sarcastic bone in my body, apologize to all men who have women in their lives who are experiencing their 40's. Whether they are a wife, girlfriend, sister, mistress, secretary, boss, nanny or just passing you on the street....I feel for you.
I cannot imagine being in your shoes for frankly, we can't believe we are in ours. You have never understood us under normal circumstances. From the first moment in the sandbox as we seductively smiled at you, beckoned you to come play, as you innocently, happily plopped down next to us and immediately received a handful of sand in your face while we screamed, "NNNNNOOOO GET AWAAAAYYYY!!", you have been doing a delicate dance around us. Not knowing the steps but doing your damnedest to keep the beat.
It wasn't enough that you had to deal with the whole menstrual cycle shit (thank Momma Nature for that), it wasn't enough that you had to deal with the whole pregnant hormonal nine month gestation trauma (again Momma N) but now this. Dealing with the peri-menopausal regular menopausal instantly raging drop of a dime hysterically laughing looovvve you looove you not, charming happy woman you know and love one minute the flip side bitch you cower from the next, let's have crazy hot sex, wait why are you touching me, why are you even in the bed, I hate the sight of you, I love you please don't leave me.
Sorry just doesn't seem enough.
All I can tell you is that this is the test of your lifetime. No easy cure. No easy remedy. And it lasts for approximately the next decade (yep, Momma you know who). You could opt to leave, to give up, but understand that in the state we are in we will hunt you down and kill you. Seriously. You are our rocks, the oasis in the sea of insanity, the peanut butter in our chocolate. Believe it or not, YOU are the only thing that makes sense to us right now. Go figure.
So, take a deep breath and be a man, that man, the real man you believe - we believe- you to be. Even though we are two different sides of the same coin, so far, you have survived us brilliantly for which I give you major kudos. And while we might appear not to notice, we love you for it. Even when our heads are swiveling in their sockets.
xo,
Fabulously Fourty(ish)
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