I remember the first time it happened.
I was crossing in the middle of the street around the back of a van and a young man was doing the same on the other side. I didn't see him until the two of us almost collided behind the van. He stopped short and said, "Whoa! That was a close one Ma'am!". And smiling, he quickly walked off. I had a smile on my face that had turned to stunned disbelief by the time I reached the sidewalk. Did I just hear him right? "Ma'am"? Naw. Heard wrong. I kept walking.
It was like Pandoras' box had been opened.
From then on, every damn week, every damn day, it seemed every damn minute, someone, somewhere addressed me as "Ma'am". Helping me with a price check; allowing me through the door first; waiting to pay at the register; flirting in a bar ("Ma'am, you are funny!"); EVEN ON THE PHONE. Are you kidding me? Are you f***ing kidding me? Had I previously been called ma'am and just blocked it out? And if so, dear Jesus, I was going deaf too. Calm down, calm down, everyone told me, it's just a sign of respect. But this wasn't the South. And there wasn't that much respect in the world.
My Mother is called ma'am. As she should be; she's my MOM. I was referred to as her "lovely young daughter". Okay, I have a younger sister so not the young part but the 'lovely' made me feel young so I just put it in there. Now when I am out with my Mom it's, "Oh Mrs. X, YOU don't look old enough to have a daughter so....grown". Ha-rumph.
It bothered me when the young boys said it; it made me feel that I was past my sexual prime. Then I remembered that young men loved 'cougars' so that cheered me up immensely and I was okay with it. I simply imagined that it was their way of saying " you might be as old as my Mom, but I would still totally do you". Cool.
But boy oh boy, it really infuriated me when the young girls said it. Lithe bodied, fresh faced, always with a slight hidden smirk behind their eyes, a sweetly dripping sarcasm in their tone that implied "step aside old bitty". Okay, okay, they didn't actually do that but it sure felt as if they were. Screw that, they probably were. And then I remembered, they are not as 'seasoned' as I am in the use of their feminine wiles (wink wink) and once again, I felt a whole lot better.
The shock does go away. The acceptance takes a while but it does come. And then you will cease to hearing it at all. Promise. Plus, you have to prepare yourself for the next stage.
"Yo! See that lady over there? She's the kind of MILF I would do".
xo,
Fourty(ish) and Fabulous
I was crossing in the middle of the street around the back of a van and a young man was doing the same on the other side. I didn't see him until the two of us almost collided behind the van. He stopped short and said, "Whoa! That was a close one Ma'am!". And smiling, he quickly walked off. I had a smile on my face that had turned to stunned disbelief by the time I reached the sidewalk. Did I just hear him right? "Ma'am"? Naw. Heard wrong. I kept walking.
It was like Pandoras' box had been opened.
From then on, every damn week, every damn day, it seemed every damn minute, someone, somewhere addressed me as "Ma'am". Helping me with a price check; allowing me through the door first; waiting to pay at the register; flirting in a bar ("Ma'am, you are funny!"); EVEN ON THE PHONE. Are you kidding me? Are you f***ing kidding me? Had I previously been called ma'am and just blocked it out? And if so, dear Jesus, I was going deaf too. Calm down, calm down, everyone told me, it's just a sign of respect. But this wasn't the South. And there wasn't that much respect in the world.
My Mother is called ma'am. As she should be; she's my MOM. I was referred to as her "lovely young daughter". Okay, I have a younger sister so not the young part but the 'lovely' made me feel young so I just put it in there. Now when I am out with my Mom it's, "Oh Mrs. X, YOU don't look old enough to have a daughter so....grown". Ha-rumph.
It bothered me when the young boys said it; it made me feel that I was past my sexual prime. Then I remembered that young men loved 'cougars' so that cheered me up immensely and I was okay with it. I simply imagined that it was their way of saying " you might be as old as my Mom, but I would still totally do you". Cool.
But boy oh boy, it really infuriated me when the young girls said it. Lithe bodied, fresh faced, always with a slight hidden smirk behind their eyes, a sweetly dripping sarcasm in their tone that implied "step aside old bitty". Okay, okay, they didn't actually do that but it sure felt as if they were. Screw that, they probably were. And then I remembered, they are not as 'seasoned' as I am in the use of their feminine wiles (wink wink) and once again, I felt a whole lot better.
The shock does go away. The acceptance takes a while but it does come. And then you will cease to hearing it at all. Promise. Plus, you have to prepare yourself for the next stage.
"Yo! See that lady over there? She's the kind of MILF I would do".
xo,
Fourty(ish) and Fabulous
LOL. Yeah, that Ma'am stuff takes some getting use to. Of course I wouldn't know that because I'm still not use to it!
ReplyDeleteBut it will get better...I PROMISE! And then you will take it for the compli- screw that. It sucks. And will continue to suck. But you will learn to block it out like white noise.
DeleteI'd rather be called Ma'am then be mistaken for my 23 year old sister's mum!
ReplyDeleteActually, over in England, it's Madam. Now all I need is to procure a brothel and then I'll be all set to go!
Great post by the way. Now following. :)
MADAM??? OMG Lily, I would seriously have to kill someone. And go with 'Miss Madam' if you go the brothel route. Glad to have you on board!
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